No...its not a man!

 Friends...no....don't worry....it wasn't a man that stabbed my heart so...there was only ever one man who hurt me so badly but I am a fast learner and that will NEVER happen again...

I am ok..read the last line of the poem....the tears need to wash away the pain so when you lift your face up, it has cleared the vision to see the stars and sun again.
This blog is the chronicle of my thoughts and feelings. Mostly happy, excited, oozing joie d'vivre....but never one-dimensional, vacuous...its the chronicles of a feeling and passionate soul. A soul that feels pain as intensely as pleasure and joy.

Tears are a cleanser...healing...and us women are nature's ultimate survivors because crying allows us not to break. I once read..."drink" is a man's tears. (grammar sounds odd, but there's a lot of truth in that- how lucky are the ones who can shed tears and purge their grief through self-expression, communication or art!)

escape valve

 
Just when you think life is in harmony...someone puts a dagger into your heart.

And you know its going to break. But it doesn't. It just gets more and more swollen with pain....throbbing, aching, straining....until it feels it will explode....but then , in rivers erupting from your eyes, the pain floods down the contours of your face...so your heart can go on.

Tears - Elizabeth Barret Browning

Thank God, bless God, all ye who suffer not
More grief than ye can weep for. That is well--
That is light grieving ! lighter, none befell
Since Adam forfeited the primal lot.
Tears ! what are tears ? The babe weeps in its cot,
The mother singing, at her marriage-bell
The bride weeps, and before the oracle
Of high-faned hills the poet has forgot
Such moisture on his cheeks. Thank God for grace,
Ye who weep only ! If, as some have done,
Ye grope tear-blinded in a desert place

And touch but tombs,--look up I those tears will run
Soon in long rivers down the lifted face,
And leave the vision clear for stars and sun

Summer in Sydney- cool cats, hot dates!

 

Well, summer holidays on the Australian Riviera offer endless twists and surprises- and I'll be up all weekend blogging if I had to list them all, but as one friend said: "You should be on the payroll of Sydney Tourism"! This city offers so much....and we didn't even do a fiftieth of what is on offer!

It started with my 45th Birthday, the mystery roses, the weekend party in the country, the first swim in the Murrimbidgee, visits to the capital city, the Science Exploratorium and the Telstra Tower.

There was the wonderful Carols by Candlelight on Balmoral beach -a gentle stroll from home- a first for me and a breathtaking night it was too.

Other fantastic memories are cloudless night skies filled by a fabulous rising orange, then later big full silver moon dancing her moonbeams right off the bay and into my home and my heart! Closer to magic and amazement and wonder you cannot experience- its positively metaphysical.

There were passenger cruise ships - bedecked in fairy lights glistening like diamonds, simulating a brightly-lit floating wedding cake - slipping through the Heads at midnight as I sat quietly in the dark contemplating life and love, enjoying the night breeze.

Contrast this with the dramatic and glorious start of 78 spinnakers billowing at the start of the Sydney-Hobart yacht race, shared with a group of friends on my terrace on Boxing Day while cooking on that infamous BBQ!

Then the launch party at the trendy OTT Slide Bar (official festival bar for Sydney Mardi Gras) in Darlinghurst of the first rock concerts webcast to hundreds of thousands in internet land. There was also the first Oscars night for NiceShorts- at the Paddington Chauvel, and winning a bottle of rare single malt Scotch whisky in the lucky ticket draw!

Maintaining the gaiety, the stage production of Australia's very own home-grown musical about the misadventures of a colourful gaggle of drag queens in the Outback - the hilarious and over-the-top Priscilla, Queen of the Desert! was a real treat and masterfully executed!

Of culinary note, there were the dinners with the charming Frenchmen at the Watermark guzzling down exquisite fresh saltwater barramundi with Louis Roederer, and the discovery of new culinary gems-Alchemy (French) and Il Perugino (Italian, in fact Umbrian to be precise)with other friends- all of them in the neighbourhood, creative and atmospheric. Reminiscent of fine European traditions more commonly found in Melbourne! ah....love, love, love it!

There was nippers, kayaking and windsurfing and skiffs at Middle Harbour and Balmoral Sailing Club....blisters, sore arms and a bit of sunburn too! There was a dusk-walk to Clifton Gardens and that picnic with quail's eggs and an "oyster and champagne tasting competition" wearing blindfolds!

And how can I not mention the cricket and that final day at the Sydney Cricket Ground? But the BEST thing about the cricket was England's Barmy Army- what a wonderful spirited and well-mannered crowd of supporters and ambassadors for their island home! They lit up the whole city- thank you guys!

We also did the beach marathon...7 beaches in 7 days from Palm Beach to Cronulla...kids voted Bondi best- think that lunch at Icebergs had a lot to do with it as well as the festive crowds from all over the world...we counted 15 languages just in the 30 m2 around where we sat! Pity the storms at sea stirred up the cold water because swimming in 16 degrees was a SIGNIFICANT challenge. But here's an urban myth that really made me laugh...common wisdom proclaimed that the cold water was the result of the ice-shelf in Antarctica breaking off!

One of the best things about summer is the Sydney Festival with its exotic, innovative and breathtaking artists and experiences....the Jazz in the Park, Symphony in the Domain, and open air theatre at Custom's House and Hyde Park. All the more impressive because of the amazing spirit of Sydney's festival crowds.

Another highlight was the workshop at the Museum of Contemporary Art and the Paddy Bedford exhibition- an Aboriginal Artist who was a stockman and cattle musterer in the Kimberleys all his life and took up painting his life stories only at the age of 80!!! He is one of the artists commissioned by the new Musée du Quai Branly in Paris which profiles art from the New World. (Do click on the link provided through his name- its well worth the read!)

And the contrast of a rapid 54 degree Celsius temperature shift as we crossed from 39degree temperatures on the Opera House Forecourt to the -15 inside the Ice Bar (Minus5experience). Don't worry, only da mamee consumed the anti-freeze, the cubs stuck to mocktails which would explain why they nearly turned into popsicles! They had better practice for the skiing holiday in Aspen in March!

Oh gosh...and the Moonlight Cinema in the Botanical Gardens which I prefer to the one at North Sydney Oval, though the summer noodle markets there are a heap of fun!

Coming up towards the end of January, there was my 2nd Burns night supper, and the much-lauded "Toast to the laddies" by yours truly who can't do the accent, have never been to Scotland and can't stomach (scuse the pun!)the haggis, tatties and neeps, but the whisky-tasting and dashing Scotties in kilts showing off great legs provided a wonderful alternative feast. (Sexiest guys in the world- next to those smouldering Chilean tennis players!)

The school holidays sort of end officially with a very special Birthday Party- Australia Day! Its an all-day water-borne party with every man and his boat taking to the water dressed with flags, streamers, balloons, boxing kangaroos, and this year-a few "Priscillas", one of which won the best dressed vessel in the parade past the Jackson Landing Jazz on the water concert. After a long day in the sun, we decided we could forego another spectacular pyrotechnics and fireworks finale at Darling Harbour seeing we are hitting the road early tomorrow to return Cub1 to boarding school.

But not before we have a few more adventures! A farmstay in the Barrington Tops riding horses with a Captain Thunderbolt-type character- a storyteller like you have never come across in your life and in itself worth the drive! Then onwards to the final day of the 35th Tamworth Country and Western Music Festival-yeehaa cowboys!

Monday we check Cub1 back in for further educational enrichment (which means financial impoverishment for mum!) at her boarding school for Year 7 studies.

That will signal the end of a wonderful summer that was never very hot and most of the time unusually and pleasantly cool.

What made all of this so special? The kids did....they are at the age where they are becoming intellectually and emotionally aware....of course same goes for the physical changes to their bodies...and exposing them to a variety of new experiences on a constant basis is my innovation mantra! Laugh....I think it already shows in their school work, vocabularly, maturity and creativity.

Long live curiosity and the human fun button! Anytime you need fun, just dial me!

Leopardess.....by cub

 

How can any bought gift for my birthday compare to this work of self-expression by cub1? I think she's simply wonderful! And what is more...the older she gets, the more I like her...you always love your kids but you don't always like them...its a good feeling when the two co-incide!

The summer of my content

Sorry visiting Pommie cricket fans - to add insult to injury, the Ozzies are thrashing you even under English weather conditions! But thanks...misty, rainy, dreary days are what we call a MIRACLE in this dry brown land - a HUGE treat!

All the more so if you are on holidays and can actually stay indoors, watch the fat billowing fluffy purple clouds roll in over the ocean and then pelt the windows in a long-forgotten yet heavenly whooshing sound.

Even though its the 2nd January (and freshly-made New Year's Resolutions still ringing in ears!) it was evident when my 6am alarm beeped me from deep dreams that this was NOT a good day for trimming and training but a GREAT day for snuggling back under the covers followed by late brunch of Dutch pancakes and French toast - NOT the planned post-festive carbohydrate and bubbly purge!

This is also the summer where my bikini body went awol AGAIN! thanks to a penchant for French champagne and a delightful stream of suitors who seem to think the only way to woo a woman is through fine dining!

But its been a very important summer nonetheless! My daughters on the other hand have discovered bikinis, boobies and a much greater awareness of themselves and the world, and walking that journey of discovery with them is delivering two interesting friends to philosophise and laugh with. Hallelujah - finally the rewards of motherhood!

As their alternative rock blasts across the Balmoral slopes while I'm still scrambling the breakfast eggs, I wiggle my hips too and cart home canvasses and paint for the expression of self and new insights into the universe and try not to nag too much about the mess.

I have also realised that sending your daughter to a posh and expensive Anglican girls school at age 12 is educating her in ways much broader than you had ever imagined it would. Broadminded and liberal as I am about discussing sexual issues in an open and factual way with my girls, I was hardly expecting to be asked the why's and wherefores of losing my virginity! But there you go! How stimulating life is with little people as they morph into big people!

Yes, sex, drugs and rock'n roll is still as much part of teenage life as it ever was-although it feels like even more so thanks to ubiquitous technology and the omni-present media.

In my opinion, this calls more than ever before for open and truthful communication between kids and us as their solid pillars of trust, integrity and respect in a world where it must seem to them that "anything goes".

John Steinbeck wrote "The winter of our discontent" to focus on the moral and civil decay of the 60's. As did Shakespeare in 1653??? in Richard 111. One wonders if any of this is new? My intuition says its not-its just better publicised.

But it does worry me when children grow up with leaders who justify wars and other actions based on blatant lies, when good men (voters) do nothing about it as long as the economy keeps running hot, - so evil thrives!

And I realise that from this summer on, I would love to spend much more time talking with these little big people about the BIG issues while enjoying lots of little things and laughs too!

Hmm....contentment at home with kids...now that's a new era!