Sunday, February 04, 2007
Rainbows are made of...
She was not supposed to die. Not before 100! A beautiful vibrant woman in full bloom....a rose just unfolding...33 years old and with the world at her feet ....the adventures of motherhood, stretchmarks, mid-life crises, career/motherhood guilt, raising hormonal teenagers and evolutionary thinking about the meaning of it all, still ahead of her.
But she was robbed. As were we...me, her wonderful husband, her loving family, her circle of adoring friends, her colleagues, her god-child (cub1)and the world. Its nearly 12,5 years since the rainbow broke, and I miss her more than ever as I struggle with life's ups and downs and need her wisdom and lack of judgement to hold up both a shoulder and a mirror. You don't form those kind of friendships easily at this stage of life, they are moulded in the crucible of life over time.
Her joie d'vivre and energy was boundless. She was fearless, hated injustice, laughed from her belly, was curious with an insatiable appetite for learning, passionate about excellence and one of very few people in the world that I absolutely trusted.
It happened in an instant....less than 10 seconds -like love at first sight except better! In a crowd of 53 new first years arriving at House Kruinsig at uni that night of 4 February 1981, we each recognised something in the other's style and attitude (quite rebellious and whacky in those days- not that much has changed!)that went "PING!"
That's something that I have experienced only a few times in my life...and those are the relationships (outside of your children who are born of your flesh) that give most meaning to one's existence. I read this book called "Love is not a game but it helps to know the odds!" and it talks about the mathematically calculated odds of finding friendships or lovers that are soulmates.
Even though Mari lost her incredible fight against the horrid big C, I am so grateful to have had her for a while. And to have experienced this magical zone of soulmateship in 4 friendships over my life and once in the love of a man. These relationships are the colours of my rainbow.
Luckily, three of these friendships remain intact - though scattered and fragmented by geography and through career and family commitments. But they endure. And I close my eyes and give a telepathic hug to my rainbow makers.