Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Mouths of babes et al

Having the cubs back at le castle sure turns up the humour! Today, walking past a dental surgery of one doctor Gordon Fang (!!!), the subject turned to (ab)sur (d)names! Like how come a guy called Keith Urban sings country music? Or isnt it fitting that Russell Crowe has finally turned to crooning instead of acting?

But we were in store for more entertainment: While watching a movie today where in one scene a fat man was undergoing some "slimming treatments and scrubs", Cub 2, aged 8, asked: Why are they covering him in Guacamole?" (Her only reference point to anything green and creamy comes from a love for Mexican!)

Cub2's innocence was again priceless when Big Sis, fresh back for first holidays from all-girls boarding school, complained about having to learn how to apply a condom to a banana (this subject is taught when they turn 16).

"What's a condom?" asks Cub2. "Its like...errr..... a jacket/wrapper thingie to protect a ....er....ehm...watchamacallit during sex", replies Cub1, blushing fuscia-pink.

"I don't get it", comes the little voice, "why would you need it if bananas come in their own jacket???!"

Well, what can you say...the logic of babes! But click here for a commercial flash to support innovative condom application in Zululand.

But the family record on the laughometer still stands for this one!

During a breezy evening out, while 75 year-old grandma visited from Cape Town last December, she asked Cub1, in thick South African accent: "Please hold my crotch, darling, I'm feeling a little cold!" Cub1's eyes nearly popped out. "No really Grandma, I know we're family and all that, but aren't you taking things a bit far?"

This may need a little explaining: The South African accent makes "uh" sounds a bit like "o", and after a hip replacement op, Grandma uses a crutch to support her when standing or walking, and on this occassion needed to free up her hands with Cub1's help to put on a jacket in the cool evening air. Given that grandma also used the crutch on occassion as a WOMD (Weapon Of Mass Destruction) for unruly grandchildren, said instrument was not exactly the object of much affection among ze cubs!

No comments: